


Try to Keep Your Sense of Humor

by lea_hazel



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: Collection: Purimgifts Day 3, Gen, Isolation, Mental Health Themes, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-15
Updated: 2014-03-15
Packaged: 2018-01-15 16:45:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1311967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lea_hazel/pseuds/lea_hazel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Beth is alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Try to Keep Your Sense of Humor

**Author's Note:**

  * For [darthjamtart](https://archiveofourown.org/users/darthjamtart/gifts).



> "Try to keep your sense of humor." 

And it was easy for her to say, she supposed. Cosima'd gotten off easy. So had Alison. It was _her_ that the German had contacted, and _she_ had tracked down Maggie Chen. She was alone, down there, in the trenches. And when hell came raining down on them, Beth had no doubt that she'd be the first to go up in flames. Whoever came for them, would come for her first. 

It's not as though she believed her when she said, ' _we're with you one hundred percent_.' Paul wasn't. Maggie Chen wasn't. Art... wouldn't be, not once he found out, which he would sooner or later. How long can you hide something like that from a police detective? How long could you keep a secret from everyone you love before it made you insane? 

Secrets had a way of coming out. Secrets could be dangerous. Her secret had almost got her killed, had almost cost her her mind. She'd be damned if she was going to wait around and see how much more damage it could do. Alison's marriage was already suffering the strain of the lies. Art was already putting his career on the line to cover up her messes. She was the fuck-up and he was paying the price. 

Beth was tired. Tired of fighting windmills, tired of being strong. More than anything, she was tired of trying to wring the truth of her existence out of a tight-lipped world. Every time she thought she had a lead, it melted into the shadows or shattered in her hands. She was tired and heartsick, and the drugs that were meant to help her had made her mind fuzzy and her senses dull. All those weeks of work, and all she had to show for it is a civilian shooting and a drug problem. 

She burned her files. Cosima would try to pick up the thread of the investigation, even if Alison didn't. It was better that way. Whoever tried to untangle them would only fall down the same rabbit-hole that had swallowed her up. She wanted better than that for Cos, even if she sometimes felt like smacking the smug smile off her face. She let her calls go to voicemail, and the German's, too. 

She wrote a note and then crumpled it up, adding it to the pile of burning documents. Paul would find out soon enough, and probably go report to whoever it was that he reported to. She had nothing left to say to him, anyhow. His bosses were welcome to whatever headache they got out of her medical files; Beth was done. She'd thought about leaving something for Art, but it would only make him curious and he'd go digging into things he was better off not knowing about. All Art had to know was that the inquest was over and his job was safe. 

Even over the sound of how badly she had screwed up her own life, Beth knew there was no more she could do for him or for anyone. The train station was deserted, as it should be at such a late hour. In her final hour Beth was, as she had always been, alone. 

[ ](http://imgur.com/FcABSnp)


End file.
